Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Various Things that Pissed Me Off Today

This is an all out rant. I am as mad as I sound in the upcoming sentences. Oh, and I refuse to correct typos by reviewing and editing this after I am finished. This is stream of consciousness. Onward...

The first thing that bothered me today is something that always bothers me. When I am trying to make my way through a crowd, I hate it when the person in front of me just stops for no reason. Sometimes he or she will engage in conversation with someone else, sometimes not. But that person can actually feel me on his or her heels yet does not pay attention and provides for a blockade between me and the door I am headed--albeit slowly--for. It's like if I was driving down the street with no traffic and the car in front of me just stopped, and the driver stepped out to do something unnecessary just to get in my way. I can't stand these people.

The other thing that got to me today was when I spotted an empty parking spot at the nearby 7-11, something rare to say the least. So I decided, because there was an empty space, to go in and get a slurpee. However, in the meantime, when I pulled into the parking lot, and as I neared the open space, a police cruiser pulled in, forcing me out. This wasn't a real police vehicle, but one of those Park Police guys who has the authority to ticket deer for crossing at the wrong intersection and not much else. I was furious, but there was nothing I could do about it. Any inclination I had to approach the weasel about his infraction was immediately curbed due to the fact that I am driving with expired registration for the time being. In my head, in those 4.5 seconds, I supposed convincing him to vacate, letting me in, and then spotting my 9/05 registration and giving me a fine and points on my record. Needless to say, I sped off without making an incident.

The last thing that bothered me today was Oprah's panel of men brought together to educate women about what men think. Aside from the fact that people like Rick Reilly of SI and Jay Leno of Jay Leno fame sold out by confessing our secrets to dozens, if not hundreds, of women on television. But sitting beside these two surefire manly men was the womanly man, Brian Mcknight. Mcknight is a male singer best known for singing songs for women to help men woo women. So, yes, he has testosterone, and it is geared toward the ultimate goal of courting estrogen, but he is hardly the first person you would consult on all issues related to the male species. I guess Elton John was booked.

If I think of more, I'll write it later.

Dan

5 Comments:

Anonymous Binny said...

I see your human traffic/parking/Oprah and raise you ConEd jackhammering right outside my bedroom window. It's really really loud. I just went outside to ask them how long they'd be working. "All night."

As Dr. Perry Cox would say, Fantastic.

6:38 PM

 
Blogger Danny the Manny said...

In that case, I re-raise you all-in the 7:30-8:00 nightly lame tv schedule. I am forced to watch Daily Show videos on the Comedy Central website, slowly counting down the minutes until the clock strikes 8.

7:38 PM

 
Anonymous Binny said...

Call. There's nothing on at 8. Unless you're watching basketball. Other than that, nothing till 9:30.

7:57 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dr. Perry Cox would have called one of the workers "Vicky", then do his cool whistle, and then tell them if they dont get their sorry asses away from your house in 10 minutes you are going to make them regret the day they were born.

and danny, i happen to catch those oprah commercials during MNF...what did they say about if its considered cheating if a guy goes to a strip-club...and i totally agree with u about brian mcknight.

doni

8:54 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Danny should not be complaining about Dannyesque issues since he did get an exciting shout out today.

9:05 PM

 

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