Sunday, October 02, 2005

Yard Sale Bonanza

So the neighbors are having a yard sale today in their driveway. Everyone knows the best yard sales extend onto their lawns, lamps and dressers strewn out on blankets. But this is just a standard one by the look of it, four or five popup tables with assorted clutter on them. Essentially, they have transported their storage room to their driveway, when, in reality, could have saved a lot of time and effort by just having the yard sale inside their storage room.

When I was outside just now, their first customer came by. It was an elderly lady (read: really old) who was, of course, being followed by the excited homeowners as she glanced over at each table of goodies.

"Where's your jewelry section?" she asked.
"We don't have any we're selling."
"How about costumes?"
"No, we're keeping all of our clothes."

Maybe she thought she was at Macy's.

But the real question that arises is whether or not I can go over and haggle over prices. This is how it plays out in my head:

"How much for the 8 pound bag of coffee beans?" I ask.
"I'll give you $2."
"$15, and you stay away from my daughter."
"$4 and I'll stop urinating on your lawn."
"$10 and you wash my car."

I mean, if good fences make good neighbors, the guy you just ripped off on hedge clippers can't be a good second option. The fact is that the American thing to do is to capitalize on his sale by having my own and selling stuff cheaper. As people respond to his local advertising (phone poles and tree trunks) and show up, they are bound to come to mine too as a result. After a few hours he will pay me to close up shop because I am stealing all of his business. Nothing closer to the American Dream than being bought out by the larger chain.



Post a Comment

<< Home