Thursday, October 13, 2005

The Yom Kippur Effect

I got stuck with holding the second Torah today for the second time in three days of the High Holidays. I understand that people look at me and think "he's 200 pounds, let's stick this enormously oversized Torah in his hands and rest assured we won't be extending the fast another 40 days." Well, I need to make clear that I am just a weak 7 year old girl, despite my exterior physique. So as I was holding that Torah today, I imagined myself as Dakota Fanning (who else?) trying to carry a Torah that was the size of a 7 year old boy. So then it wasn't Dakota carrying a Torah in my imagination, but one of the twins who played Adam Sandler's kids in "Big Daddy." Yes, this is what I was thinking about on Yom Kippur.

Oh, and the Torah had pictures of pink flowers on the front. And we know what pink means. Weird feminist Torah maybe.

I spent a load of Neilah reading a mussar book, focusing on a chapter related to Envy. It told a parable about a king who promised a deceiver and an envier double what the other requested for, but only one of them could ask him for whatever he wishes for. The deceiver had no good play, nor did the envier because they each wished for the double portion of what the other would get. Finally the envier steps up and says he wants the king to gouge out one of his eyes. I want to take this story and re-print it inside a book that is the opposite of mussar that praises people for cleverness and smartness. Guinness level brilliance indeed.



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