Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Shatner Saving Israel...i Horses?

"William Shatner has embarked on a new mission -- to Israel.
It's there that the 75-year-old actor hopes that horses will help raise funds aimed at bringing peace to the Middle East."

Wonderful. Let's hope it ends the years of violence.

"Shatner and his wife, Elizabeth, who are both serious equestrians, were in Israel Monday visiting riding centers and promoting therapeutic riding -- a method where disabled people gain strength by horseback riding."

HUH? What kind of twist is that? Did The Onion release this and it got picked up by mainstream media? I refuse to believe this.


Sunday, May 28, 2006

Mike Jacobs Isn't But I Heard His Agent Is

Today in Florida, the Marlins are hosting Jewish Heritage Day. Part of the festivities this afternoon included handing out tee shirts with Marlins' first baseman Mike Jacobs' name on the back. Only problem? Jacobs is not Jewish.

"They said it wasn't done intentionally but I don't know about that,'' Jacobs said. "It's a big joke around here.''

They should have gone with Miguel Cabrera instead.


Saturday, May 27, 2006

You Can DUI It

Welcome to the latest installment of "Who's Hot, Who's Not" moms of NBA players edition. First up, Gloria James. Let's check in to see how she handled her DUI arraignment today:

"The mother of Cleveland Cavaliers star Lebron James pleaded no contest and was found guilty on Friday of four charges after her SUV nearly hit an unmarked police vehicle and she kicked a window of a patrol car."

Let's see how that bodes for the 38-year-old mom.

"James also must perform 100 hours of community service, pay more than $400 in fines and costs and pay for $150 in damage to the police cruiser."

Not bad, not bad. All things considered, she got off pretty nicely. Therefore, we're going to reward her with the Kosher Delight Hot Sauce Hot Mom of the Week award.

Now, on to someone who's not sitting as pretty as Ms. James: Carrie Mae Stoudemire.

"The mother of Phoenix Suns star Amare Sotudemire was sentenced Friday to three years in prison in a drunken driving case."

Ouch. Not as lucky, my friend. Go directly to jail, do not collect $200. In fact, pay $2,500.

Until next time,


Thursday, May 25, 2006

Sometimes When You Win You Really Lose

Rosie Perez was ahead of her time when she uttered those philosophically brilliant words in "White Men Can't Jump." She was referring to the possibility that a mediocre baseball team would someday win a game but still lose two of its players to bonehead injuries in the process. Sure, I've heard of some strange ones in my years, but never sequential.

"Nationals outfielder Jose Guillen left after two innings because of a left eye abrasion, and catcher Wiki Gonzalez also exited after three innings because of a mild concussion and cervical strain."

These the results of players giving it their all, on a team already stricken with pitching injuries up the wazzoo? See for yourself:

"Guillen hurt his eye earlier in the day during batting practice. The right fielder was seen rubbing his left eye with his batting glove and had problems heading into the game...Guillen saw an eye specialist, but there's no word on how serious the injury is."

"Gonzalez was behind the plate in the second inning, when he was hit in the head by Preston Wilson's back swing. Gonzalez said he was also hit on the mask by a foul tip that hurt his neck. The catcher is listed as day-to-day."

You can take the team out of Montreal, but you can't take the Montreal out of the team.


Sunday, May 21, 2006

Bonds' Stock Rising Again After Poor 4th Quarter

"Tyler Snyder caught Barry Bonds' 714th homer on the fly Saturday, snagging it cleanly with his glove. The people around the 19-year-old Athletics fan cheered wildly, with nobody assaulting or gouging him.

But Snyder's perfect catch was a rare moment of grace in this ragged, tainted quest for baseball immortality by Bonds, who ended a nine-game homer drought with a second-inning solo shot for the San Francisco Giants. Fans stood and applauded, and Bonds' peers acknowledged another milestone."

But what if the guy wanted to stay for the remainder of the game? Was he instantly banned from the ballpark? I don't know why we have to throw him out of the game. Clearly, he wasn't simply there to catch the ball--Snyder claims he doesn't particularly care for Bonds--but may have actually been an A's fan who wanted to see his team play the rest of the game. Couldn't they just escort the ball out of the stadium in an unmarked police car and allow Snyder to make use of his $15 bleacher seat?

Just something to think about. And...we're back!


Monday, May 01, 2006


Buy gift baskets. Give me $5.