Friday, September 30, 2005

The Ownerless Pair of Pants

My father insisted on taking me to buy pants for work last week, so obviously we went to Sears. (My father claims its because its close, really its because we're from Queens.) At any rate, we buy 3 pairs of pants and a belt. When we get home and show my mom and sisters, they laugh uncontrollably as I tried on all three pairs. They decided that the pants would be better suited for some of the members of my synagogue, the 70 year old and over crew. They even termed them "Old Man Pants." So I went with my sister to buy other pants instead. Meanwhile, my father brought the Old Man Pants back to Sears for a refund. When he gave the cashier the bag, the man told my father that he was only charged for 2 pairs of pants and the belt. My father, not wanting to steal, (thats not in the Queens attitude, were just cheap, not thiefs though) insisted he take them because they were given to him but he never paid for them. The cashier REFUSED to accept them, claiming that its not his either because its not on the receipt. My father came home with the pants and got admonished by my mother for not returning them. After explaining to her what had hjappened, she still refuses to let me where them.

As my father says, "Sometimes even when you want to be honest, society won't let you."

Freedom of Speech

It seems as though John Roberts' confirmation as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court is already starting to send shockwaves throughout the country. Suddenly, even liberal areas have become prudish in regard to our First amendment rights. However, I must say this new policy shows a great difference in class between these two organizations. One must remember that when I was just a lad of 13 years as I was watching the World Seires at the Toilet Bowl (aka Yankee Stadium) I was treated to songs laced with obscenities directed at me simply for rooting against the Sodomites. However, it is good to see a first rate organization like the Boston Red Sox are concerned with making the ballpark a family place once again. One potential problem, however, with this new policy, is in essence you are preventing people from presenting the simple truth to youngsters. It is my sincere hope that children watching the upcoming three games in Fenway do not need shirts to see that the Amalekites stink. Rather, they will see it with their own eyes as the Doody Faces collapse much like they did a year ago. (And then of course to console each other will actually proceed to take the suggestions of the t-shirts in question in the locker room after the game with each other).

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Neverending Cycle of Victory

Want to know how to beat Rocks, Paper, Scissors? Click here. But wait, it gets worse.
It's all explained here. Zoom in for the full effect.

Or you could apply this same logic to what Jon Stewart pointed out about FEMA's mission on The Daily Show last evening. As you can tell, FEMA was doing their job, as promised.

"After a disaster. FEMA goes into response and recovery mode. This is then followed by mitigation and risk reduction. Lastly, prevention and preparedness are addressed. And as you can see, this all brings us back to DISASTER!!!!"--Stewart.

"FEMA did EXACTLY what they said they would do."


Wednesday, September 28, 2005

The Only People Worse than Chassidim

Watched parts of the Sodomites game and the Red Sox game in the Morg lounge tonight. Anyone who has ever watched a sporting event in the lounge can verify that it may be the worst place to watch anything in the world. Between people blocking the screen, people making dumb comments, and people changing the channel from the baseball game to the lifetime movie of the week, it is just an awful place to watch anything. However the thing that makes it downright awful to watch is of course the fans of the New York Sodomites. The worst offender has red hair, but thankfully he was not watching while I was there tonight. However, there seems to be a new king stupid bastard. This fellow (and no, he was not fine) was mad at me for rooting against the Yankees. He than had the audacity to proclaim that all Mets fans used to like the Yankees at some point (you know when people say "that was the most stupid thing I have heard in my life" but they don't really mean it,well this was the most stupid thing I have heard in my life, and I mean it). For years I have tried to figure out why it is I hate the Amalekites so much. Was I jealous of their success? Perhaps a bit. Did I not like how they bought their last few championships? Most definitely. However, the worst part of this team is their fans. They are awful human beings, and as anyone who has ever listened to "Couche-Tard" knows, they are just scum of the earth. So while I usually proclaim that I hope for the Yankees plane to crash and burn, in truth I hope that there is a plane that has all of the Yankees fans in the world and that it crashes and burns. (I would like to apologize for this blog making little to no sense. It is obviously a rant against a despicable group of human beings, yimach shmam vzichram, and the sooner we rid the world of these people, the better off we will all be).


The morning at shul a number of Chassidim came in at various points asking for money. One came in during Birchos Krias Shema and started to talk to people, which is obviously assur, yet he didn't seem to mind. Yet another came in between shema and shmoneh esreh and headed straight for the conservative looking guy (you know the guy who has small teffilin and wears a scarf for a tallis) and started to talk to him too, trying to get a response. This too is obviously assur as you can't talk at that time. I guess he figured the conservative guy wouldn't know halacha (he didn't, he started talking to him). Basically what I'm getting at is twofold. 1. I think if anyone dresses up as a chassid and goes to a random orthodox shul he can make $20-$50 easy. 2. I don't want to say I hate all chassidim right before Rosh Hashanah but I must say I dislike a great deal of them very much. They should go back to Brooklyn and stop smelling up my modern orthodox shuls.

Reference Unveiled

For some time now, I have known about the Wayback Machine that allows you to see a web page on any date in its history. What I did not remember until today is that the machine originally aired on episodes of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Mr. Peabody escorted Sherman through time in the Wayback Machine, not to be confused with the contraption that Steve Urkel invents to make himself cool.

One guy apparently cares a little bit too much about the Wayback Machine, dissecting its use and shortcomings.

"Curiously enough in all the episodes I've seen, I don't think they've ever been shown returning to the present. Presumably, the Wayback Machine has some sort of automatic retrieval device that returns them to the present after some duration, but this is all idle speculation on my behalf.

The Wayback Machine serves its purpose as a simple plot device to transport our two characters to the required destination."

He does bring up one accurate point which is unintentional comedy at its best, or at least close to it.

"As for the time travel aspects of the show, it always appeared that after arriving on the scene Peabody and Sherman would discover that the reality of the past was not what the history books had made it out to be. Mr. Peabody and Sherman always took upon themselves to get involved and set things right in order to keep history on the right track.

Despite appearances, it could be argued that the opposite was true and that the past was immutable, that is not open to intervention and change. The reason the history books are written the way they are directly because of Peabody and Sherman's involvement. The paradox being that they have influence history already, before they realize they must intervene. "

To read what I have engrossed myself with this afternoon, click here.


Prejudice is Not Colorblind

So the University of Iowa painted its visiting locker room pink and some people are upset.

"Critics say the use of pink demeans women, perpetuates offensive stereotypes about women and homosexuality, and puts the university in the uncomfortable position of tacitly supporting those messages."

You can read more about what pink represents here. If you follow through with the connotation of the color pink, then movies like this should come under attack too. And this singer. But not this singer.

Pink is the new purple.


Martha Stewart: Fantasy Game

In conjunction with her new Apprentice program, Martha Stewart is also offering a Yahoo fantasy game where viewers predict what will occur on the week's show and are granted coordinating points. Since I signed up too late to enter last week--the premiere--I received zero points for my effort, or lack thereof. However, somehow I am in the 36th percentile, in 1997th place. Did people get negative points? I need this answered.

As for tonight's show, which I likely won't even watch, here are some of the questions proposed:

1. Who will physically embrace Jim when he returns to the loft after his first experience in the conference room? (10 points)

4. Which candidate will Bethenny inform: "nobody wants to talk to you because you are insane"? (5 points)

6. Who will tell her fellow candidates "we look like hookers." (10 points)

8. After a long day of work which candidate will exclaim, “This is the single most despicable day of my life”? (5 points)

9. Which person will refuse to throw a fellow candidate "under the bus." (10 points)

Now, I don't know how any of these are gettable, especially the massive 20 pointer, predicting which candidate will be thrown overboard tonight.



After watching many of my friends awarded with free gifts for no apparent reason simply by informing their other friends that they had "registered" at various stores, I decided it was my turn to cash in. I have created a registry of stuff I desire that can be found by visiting here.Thanks in advance for all the gifts.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Probation Sentence

10:55 PM
AvSinensky: uris posts suck
Zeus665: yes
Zeus665: put him on probation

10:56 PM
AvSinensky: yo
AvSinensky: by a 2-1 vote u r being put on creative probation by the blog
Es00teric: What does that mean?
AvSinensky: You gotta step up your game

10:57 PM
AvSinensky: i am brilliant
AvSinensky: told him vote was 2-1...this way each of us can claim we were the 1 that supported him
Zeus665: haha

10:58 PM
Es00teric: heard u voted against me
ATL2NY1: i was the one

10:59 PM
AvSinensky: dont look at me...
AvSinensky: i voted in favor of u
AvSinensky: it was the other 2
Es00teric: sure
Es00teric: harold told me he was the one

11:00 PM
Zeus665: i just want you to know, i voted in favor of your blogs
Zeus665: that twins story is gold
Zeus665: hal and av
Zeus665: they voted against you

11:01 PM
Es00teric: this is all being blogged

Colorful Twins

It's apparently alright to listen to headphones while you work. So after discovering launchcast last year on yahoo, that's really all I've been doing. Really a great concept, rate music and it plays what you like. Anyway, staying in the Queens spirit I refuse to pay 3.95 a month so I can get Launchcast plus which plays commercial free music, so instead I am forced to listen to jet blue commericals every other song, which are actually really funny, just not after you've heard them 50 times... a day. Somehow, yahoo is linked to ABC and they have all the promos for television shows that are going to be on that night, Desperate Housewives for example. The other day, I heard a promo for Dateline, and every time I heard it I couldn't help but laugh. "Get ready for an unbelievable story... Twins... One white, one black." Now every time, I heard this, I couldn't control myself. Im pretty sure people started looking at me also. The problem is Im not sure why I thought it was funny. Whatever the case, I missed the show, but read the article.

You can read it here.

Commanderette in Chief

Being home sick today, I've been listening to the Fan a lot. This afternoon I have heard about 15 promos for ABC's new show "Commander in Chief." Part of the promo has Donald Sutherland's character saying something to the effect of "We only chose you as Vice-President as a stunt, we never expected you to be President" in referring to Geena Davis' character and "You have to save the country, you have to save the country from her" (once again in reference to Davis). Am I wrong to watch this show and root for Donald Sutherland to try to depose this woman President even though he is obviously the antagonist? Does that make me sexist? (I hope the change in the penultimate sentence now qualifies as English, Binny. I was unaware that the blog became a place where I had to take out my "Writer's Reference "before I posted).

Wash Post Chat Shout Out

I spend much of my day involved in Washington Post chats, submitting preposterous questions under different aliases just to see if they will be fielded. Well, I am happy to say one was. The city name, you should know, is made up and funny only for a select few.

Old Fatnarsh, Pennsylvania: Can I get a shout out to my boy currently watching the Red Sox game courtesy of mlbtv in his Torts class?

Paul Farhi: Man, back in the day, I had to sneak a tiny transistor radio into school to listen to the game. What's the matter with kids today?

THEN, a few minutes later, in a different chat with Dave Sheinin:

Old Fatnarsh, Penn.: I think the Indians turned things around when they signed Willie Mays Hayes to an extension. Rickie Vaughn sure can throw the heat too.

Dave Sheinin: Yeah, but Pedro Cerrano is the one who has carried them all year long.

Both Farhi and Sheinin should be commended for putting up with my constant antics. You can find transcripts of the complete chats here.


Crappy Day

Yesterday was a very bad day. Firstly, I feel like garbage, in fact that's not limited to yesterday, I still feel like feces. Secondly, Chad Pennington, and Jay Fiedler were found to be lost for the season. So I guess I get excited about Thrashers hockey right about now. Thirdly, in the caf last night they must have made the sloppy joes extra sloppy because I managed to get a large portion of them on my pants, which not only looked funny walking around YU it also gave me less clothing options this morning as they were my only pair of khaki pants (I had to go with blue this morning, didn't like it one bit). Fourthly, not only did the Sodomites win last night, the Red Sox were rained out and now have to play a doubleheader today. So the Crapheads got a big break there. On the good news front, the Mets are still not eliminated from playoff contention. As a side point, I would just like to welcome the U-BOAT to the blog (albeit a bit belatedly). I guess if we can't room together anymore, blogmates is a good second option.

Penguin Scared Straight

I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I want to update you on a story that Hal first broke a few days ago about gay penguins. It really reminds me of an episode of Desperate Housewives, only I have never seen the show. It therefore must be most similar in concept to that Geico commercial with Speed Racer in it.


Monday, September 26, 2005

Now That Kwame Brown Has Left Town...

SYRACUSE, N.Y. -- Andray Blatche, drafted by the Washington Wizards in June, was shot Sunday morning in Virginia during an apparent robbery.

What people are saying about Blatche:

"You can't help but love a guy with his size and mobility who can dribble, pass and score with his gliding athleticism." analyst Jerry Meyer.

"At almost seven feet tall, Blatche has all the physical tools to make it big in the NBA one day, it just won’t be anytime soon... Will be a project for whichever team decides to select him."

"Weaknesses: Too thin… disappears from games… could be more dominant on the glass and defensive end"

"Obviously, he's going to need a lot of development," [Coach Eddie] Jordan said. "I want to see how he looks. I want him to play in our summer league."--Washington Post, June 29, 2005.


Sunday, September 25, 2005

Practice LSAT

I was scheduled to take a practice LSAT today at Queens College (for knowledge). I was somewhat excited because after going to YU for three years it's always a treat to be in a room with a bunch of non-Jewish girls. However, I was disappointed as the group of girls in this room was about as ugly as you could get. Believe it or not, I preferred the room full of Stern girls at my Torah Tours meeting tonight. Anyway, I got the test, and after the first question I realized it was the same exact test I had just taken on Thursday. Normally I would've been upset that I had wasted my time getting over to Queens College and whatnot. However, I quickly realized that since I had no reason to take this test, I would be able to watch the Jet game, so in the words of the immortal Moshe Hus "Gam Zu L'Tovah." (Although I don't know if you would consider watching the Jets debacle a "L'Tovah" but I guess that's for another post)

Burress Suspension

Plaxico Burress missed a team meeting, so Tom Coughlin suspended him from the 1st 2 series of tonight's game. What is that supposed to accomplish? This is just idiotic in my opinion. It's like in Older Ilanot when this kid did something wrong, so he got docked from the 1st half of the hockey championships. I for one was surprised that his father didn't start his own hockey league that he would be allowed to play in. Anyways, the halfway point of the game was middle of the 2nd period, so he sat on top of the boards and his team switched him in on the fly as soon as he was eligible to enter the game. Interestingly enough, he would eventually score the winning goal in OT on a full court shot that rolled through the goalie's legs.

My Day of TV

Before I begin, I'd like to thank all those who have given me the opportunity to express my opinions. For so long did I envy those who posted regularly on the deceased (For Lack of a better word) chestblog, as I yearned to be a part of this elite club. Well, when the last blog was deleted, still unclear what that was all about, I thought I may have a shot. And here I am.

To those of us who work, Sunday is a day of nothing. It is designed to do nothing and I looked forward to it the entire previous week. I looked forward to 1 oclock Jets, 4 o clock Pats Steelers and 830 Giants. However, interestingly enough, I found myself watching a meaningless Met game (which they, by the way won) as well as the Presidents cup for most of the day. And this brings me to what I'd like to discuss. As I'm watching the President's Cup, which pits the International golfers against the Americans, all I can think of is "How do I take this seriously?" I mean after Chris Dimarco tied up his match against Stuart Appleby , he left the green raising the roof trying to get the American crowd behind him. I couldn't by this. I even laughed out loud as I saw him do this. To me theres just something about golf that does not allow it to be compared to sports like basketball or football. I just can't see it in the same light. I can't take it seriously. It's kind of like Adam Sandler in Spanglish. He plays what is supposed to be a serious role, but to me, Adam Sandler will always be Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore. This is fingers. It bothers me when they talk about Tiger Woods and how hes playing through all this pain. I was waiting for them to compare it to Jordan or Willis Reed's performance. Truth is, I wasnt paying attention the whole time, they may have. Although he lost, so maybe they didnt.

Golf is great, and Im even one of those guys who likes watching it on tv, this was just too much.

The Gadlus of Facebook

While the excitement of Facebook has worn off for many of us, it has made a comeback of sorts with the incoming Freshman class who have entered the hallowed halls of Yeshiva University. I have recently been bombarded with new friend requests, mainly from people who are former campers of mine(which by the way makes me feel really old, but not quite as old as I felt on Thursday night when I asked a kid from my shul who is now in 3rd grade what year he was born. He responded 1997. 1997!!!!!!!! I remember 1997 quite vividly, Sodomites losing to the Indians in stunning fashion, graduating 8th grade, a few good games of spin the bottle, just to name a few highlights, the fact that this kid wasn't even born at the point makes me feel very,very old). Anyway, there's a kid in my shiur who went to my high school (he was a freshman when I was a senior) and he's come over to talk to me a few times, but I had absolutely no idea what his name was. However, thanks to facebook, I was able to ascertain his name and everyone is now happy. On a totally separate note, this morning after minyan I watched "9 innings from Ground Zero" which for those of you who don't know is a documentary about how the New York Amalekites helped New York recover after 9/11. However the documentary had the direct opposite effect on me. I rooted for the DBacks the whole way (which worked out nicely because of course they won). Does this make me unpatriotic somehow??

Without Sports

There's a commercial on TV now inside the series of "Without Sports..." that features a guy named Izzy Paskowitz who sponsors surf camp for autistic children.

Here's his site. Or here. An article about him in Forbes Magazine and one from N.Y. Daily News.


Saturday, September 24, 2005

Blog about FKF!! and Law School

I can't believe it, but this guy dedicated a post to the subject of Cordozo Law School's offering an abundance of Free Kosher Food (!!).

I love how universal it is too, this guy coming all the way from Australia for the food.

Also, make sure to check out this blog that "is for and about Jewish Survivors of childhood sexual abuse, survivors of sexual assault, rabbinical sexual misconduct and those who care about them."

If only blogs were around a couple years ago...


March of the Gay Penguins

Im not one who really cares for celebrity gossip. Who's dating who, who's gay, who's straight, the whole thing. However, I do sort of understand why some newspapers (i.e. the New York Post and basically all newspapers in London) would choose to report on such matters. But I must say it sort of shocked me that a respected publication such as the New York Times thought it was necessary to report on the sexual adventures of penguins (If you aren't registerd at the New York Times, what the heck are you waiting for??). I don't know if it's the success of this summer's "March of the Penguins" or what, but honestly, who cares if a penguin is gay or straight or changes or if his former partner is upset because he's straight now??? I sure as heck dont.

Subtle Exit

For Friday night dinner, was coaxed into going to the Hillel Grad student meal. It blew. Me and 2 others tried to make a subtle exit. They were doing a presentation about Birthright, so we decided we would make our getaway 1 by 1 between speakers. After one of the speakers ended, I got up to sneak out. The woman running the panel turns to me and says, "Oh, did you want to say something about Birthright?" Now the only thing I know about Birthright is that it could be traded for lentil soup, so I responded, "No, I was just standing up" and bolt for the door. Totally inconspicuous.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Yet Another Reason for Aliyah

*Warning* This retelling of the story won't accurately portray the humor contained within the truthful walls of the actual events. That being said, I'll still give it my best shot.

With Israeli relatives in town, I tried to find a copy of an Israeli newspaper for them to read this weekend. I went over to the only spot I could think of that may carry them, the local butchershop owned by an Israeli. I arrive there to find the owner sitting outside the store on a milk crate with a toothpick in his mouth. I told him what I was looking for, and he escorted me inside and began to rummage through the mess near the cash register, searching for anything in Hebrew print (the markup on publications from overseas is a topic in and of its own. But I digress...).

Unfortunately, he couldn't find me a newspaper other than the New York Times. Then he offers me a copy of a magazine instead. The magazine--which I would later figure out is the Israeli version of Vogue Magazine--has a picture of three scantily clad young girls leaning against each other. I take one look at it, look back up at him, and say "I think I'll pass." Somehow, during that brief moment, he figured out that I believed he was trying to sell me pornography (marked up to $6.50 because it came all the way from Israel).

"It's not dirty pictures of girls," he assures me, toothpick firmly in place atop his lower lip.

This was an encounter I was never ready to have. It sprang up on me out of the white and blue. I guess it's like the old adage goes, "when life brings you Israeli porn, run like hell out of the store."


Low Talker

In my classes there is a student who sits near me all the way in back who always talks so softly when he is called on, to the point that the teacher often makes him repeat himself 2 or 3 times. Well, finally today when he was called on, the teacher made him move all the way to the front so that he could hear him better. As soon as the student began talking, I yell out "I can't hear you back here." LOL's abounded.


About ten minutes after my post, I called a local radio show to point out to the more general public about the selfishness of this franchise. I called the show sometimes known as "Pompous Bastard and the Mad Dog" however, the producer would not let me on. He too probably likes the Boys from the Bronx and therefore wanted to cover up their lack of morals. On a happier note, I found five dollars in my pants today.

A Fine Fellow/Shallow Hal Returns

After a long hiatus, which predates the deleting of the blog, I must say it is a pleasure to be back blogging. First I must say that since I have blogged last there have been some innovations on the blog, the most important one being hyperlinks within blogs. Well since for now I live at home, and I have dial up at home (if you want to torture yourself by the way, take a lsat online with a dial up connection) I really do not want to put links in my blogs at this time. Hopefully, in the near future, I will be moving to a beautiful community in the Northern part of Manhattan and at that point I may have access to highspeed internet and then links may ensue. Also for those who have forgooten about my blogging style I would characterize it as this:Pure hate for the selfish bastards in the Bronx (I'm unable to even write their name, but I'll give you a hint: you could've subsituted this teams name for Amalek in last weeks parsha and no one would've noticed). So on that note, I'd like to bring to light something I read in Paul Lukas' Uni Watch on Mr. Lukas writes "While other MLB teams continue to support Hurricane Katrina relief by wearing the Red Cross logo on their batting helmets, the Yankees/Amalek (hint, hint) have quietly removed the cross from their lids. The Salvation Army sleeve patch they were wearing is gone, too." (Yes I know there are links in this, even though I just got finished saying I cant do links. Well this was Lukas, not me, so enjoy them, they aint all that exciting). Well I think that just about proves what I've been saying for years. That's all for now.

Scalia Loves Slaves

Couple days ago in CivPro...Reading a Scalia opinion in which he rules a certain way because that's how courts have traditionally dealt with it (an originalist approach- what would the framers have said?) I criticize this approach, saying that society has changed over the last 250 years; for example, slavery existed then but clearly isn't acceptable anymore. Professor interrupts me to point out that the 13th Ammendment took care of slavery and asks whether I am suggesting that under Scalia's originalist approach, slavery should still exist, as all the black students in my class turn their heads back towards me.

New Yorkers Anything But Saints

I Love NY...for being jerks. No words of mine can do this justice. Take a peak.


Almost Famous

From this morning's ESPN SportsNation chat:

Danny (Silver Spring, MD) Any chance of a comeback, Joe? You could still bat better than Christian Guzman, can't you?

JOE MORGAN We laugh sometimes in the booth because Ill say ''I could hit that guy!'' But I'm only fooling myself. Guzman was one of my favorite players to watch. But it has been a disatrous season for them.

According to Wikipedia, Joe turned 62 years old on Monday. That's just amazing. Let's try to get him to work for us.


Thursday, September 22, 2005

My Day in the Sun

Turns out that one of the contestants on the new season of Trump's Apprentice did an internship in his younger days at WTEM Sports Talk-980 in Silver Spring, MD. You will recall from my resume that I also spent a summer working there. I am now rooting for James Dillon to win just so he thanks John Thompson for his big break.

This isn't the first time WTEM launched a career. This guy, for instance, lists "Interviewed on WTEM Sports radio, 1992" under Media Experience.

Signing off,


Clinton Saves Lives

BEIJING — A new line of condoms is grabbing headlines in China even as its sparks a debate about trademark law and promotion campaigns. The products' brand names: "Clinton" and "Lewinsky."The condoms are sold in boxes of 12, with the brand named after former President Bill Clinton priced at $3.70 and that of former White House intern Monica Lewinsky at $2.25.
Guangzhou Haojian Bioscience Co. said it registered both trademarks and is pricing the brands differently to reflect the higher quality of the Clinton line."We chose the name because we think Clinton is a symbol of success and a man of responsibility. And Lewinsky is a woman who dares to love and dares to hate," said Liu Wenhua, the company's general manager.

"We haven't told Clinton about this yet, but maybe you could help us find him," Liu added. "We'd like to tell him how respected he is in China, so we can boost his confidence and help his career."


Credit Where It's Due

If you have a little bit of time, my boy, Jake Tapper, details in great length how his scripts come to fruition on World News Tonight. It's a definate read if you care about life.


Jon Bandler Uncovers Sex Scandal

Our thanks extended to Crack for his investigate contribution to this report:
Here's the story.

Here's the set up and the best part:

"WHITE PLAINS — A Long Island mother admitted yesterday that she made it possible for two older teenage boys to have sex with her 13-year-old daughter and the girl's 14-year-old friend at a White Plains hotel...

The woman had told White Plains detectives when she was arrested that she was hoping to curb the girls' obsession with sex. "


Hopping on the Bandwagon

In conjunction with today's planned relaunch, the warm and friendly people over at Win Without War have printed an ad in today's national papers identifying other liars. We want to extend our latex glove covered hands in friendship to the people at WWW whose dogged and relentless pursuit to embarass the honchos who run this country should not go unnoticed. You can see the ad here.

It appeared in the following publications, accompanied by their ranking according to the 2005 Newsroom Diversity Index:

USA Today (#94), Washington Post (#112), Denver Post (#65), Rocky Mountain News (#90), Palm Beach Post (#88), Indianapolis Star (#57), Des Moines Register (#9), Louisville Courier-Journal (#32), Minneapolis Star Tribune (#25), Rochester Post-Bulletin (NA), Omaha World Herald (#100), Cincinnati Inquirer (#49), Philadelphia Inquirer (#45), Pittsburgh Post Gazette (#55), and Charleston Daily Mail (NA).

Not sure what that shows, but it's an interesting list of papers to choose.

Also of note from today's WP is one letter to the editor that reads,

"As our links to the past continue to be strained by time and revisionism, it becomes all the more essential that a man of Simon Wiesenthal's fortitude and morality be recognized [front page, Sept. 21]. He chose a noble path after his liberation from the Mauthausen concentration camp. The immense undertaking that became his life's work was not simply justice for victims of the Holocaust but a voice for those lost souls who could not speak.

Mr. Wiesenthal was once asked how he would answer the question, "What have you done?" on his entry into the next realm by the millions of Jews who died in the death camps. His reply, he said, would be: "I didn't forget you." We must never forget Simon Wiesenthal."


More Kowbell gear can be bought here.


Welcome Back, Mr. Kott-ahhhhh

So what happened to Chestblog itself? It's now a German phone card company's website. I wish I could say we collect royalties for lending the Chestblog name. In fact, if you feel so compelled to donate to this worthy cause, you can visit this site and personalize your donation with "for all the Chestblogliars out there."

In truth, in a moment of panic, I deleted the old blog. For that, I am ashamed and continue to mourn and grieve. Once you find it in your old school Chestblog hearts to forgive my lapse in judgment, you can join me in welcoming a new day. This will be the first noted spinoff blog in the short history of blogdom.

So put up your feet, grab a drink, comb your hair, pet your dog, raise your glass, and shovel your walk, for today, we rejoice!

Welcome back, bay-bee!